Jazmine Sullivan Feat. Ne-Yo - U Get On My Nerves

this song says so much. just the chorus is enough for me. kinda reminds me of a few fuckboys i knew in a former life.

free write

in college we had to do "free writes" for five minutes at the start of class and i always enjoyed reading all that i wrote without thinking about it. i mainly wrote of my upcoming nuptials (which didn't happen) and how my little baby boy was growing so big. that was many many many moons ago because my baby is now a teen and marriage is the last thing on my mind. a friend of mine seemed to have gotten upset (or annoyed) when i stated my desire to never get married. i know the evil things i've done to the boyfriends i've had who have let me down so i can only imagine what i would do to my "husband" if he let me down. it's not that i go into a situation expecting it...it just seems to happen. so i am then forced to bring out my evil side and act an ass. and it seems these days no one believes in the sanctity of marriage. you've got people quick to leave their mate at the drop of a hat. then there are those who are still married and go off to start families elsewhere. or you have those that don't even act like they're married and continue to sow their oats anywhere that someone will let them. not that i'm judging anyone...to each his own. i just realized marriage is not for me but everyone else (except my exes) seem to think i'm so right for it. oh well. guess i will never find out.
well the reason i'm writing about marriage now is because it seems this year everyone is taking that leap. i wish them all the luck (hell. i'll even buy them something off their registry) but i just can't do it. i came to the conclusion a long time ago that if i kick you out of the "circle of trust" i can't let you back in. tried doing that only to be misused and mistreated. so i will continue to be the mother of three, wife of none (just the way i like it).