untitled...yet again

i am really not sure what to write about. it's just a lot has been going on in my life and i feel like my mind is cluttered. i continue to have these random up wakes at the most inconvenient hours of the night so i came to the conclusion i was not meant to sleep. i've probably done enough to last me a lifetime already. okay, maybe not. but i did/do sleep a lot when i get sick. i'm not gonna lie and say i get sleep when i'm in the hospital because there's always someone barging in the room. oh! that doesn't happen to you? maybe it's just my nurses and doctors. now that i'm writing it, whenever i have a rooommate, they don't get as many visits from their doctors as i have from mine. so maybe it is my doctors who just adore me more. i'm so special!! but enough about hospitals because i'm trying to steer clear of talk like that. so let's talk about my world. i was talking to a good friend of mine yesterday who informed me he has to break off our friendship for a while. so does that mean he is my ex-friend until this hiatus is over? it doesn't matter because i still consider him my friend. i guess we just won't converse as much as we usually do. i'll keep you posted on how that pans out. now to my unofficial "boyfriend" who has been "loving" me from a distance for quite some time now. i just adore this man at times and at times i want to...oh never mind. alright. at times i want to tell him we can make it official, but i know i'm not ready so i just keep my mouth shut. it's little things that transpire that make me want to back off and i know i shouldn't be that way because everybody is different. but it's just some things that get my spidey senses tingling and i can't help that my guard automatically goes up. so i'll keep you posted on that as well. for now, i'm gonna say Lata Gata and make my out of cyberworld and into the real one.

has it been a year already?

i'm up at a wicked hour debating as to whether i'm doing the right thing here. and by the right thing, i'm referring to my new relationship that i am starting on the 11th of this month. maybe i should hold off and go ahead and move away like i wanted to. this new start felt good at first. then again, when doesn't something new feel good? it doesn't always turn out good. but now i'm having second thoughts. then i tell myself i'm just doing like i always do and over-analyze the situation. it even got to a point earlier that i wanted to just call the whole thing off.  i told myself i was being crazy because this is just the new beginning i need to get me over the last disaster i called a job. and when i look at it that way, it all makes sense. so i now know it was just anxiety i was experiencing because i can't wait for monday to get here. out with the old, in with the new!!