i'm laying here listening to the rain wishing i could go to sleep but my mind won't cooperate at all. and i seem to have lost my voice. i joked with a friendgirl of mine and told her i would be mean to call edward and torture him by holding a conversation while i'm hoarse since it's such a turn on for him to hear me like this. but i don't have it in me to be mean today. i don't know how i want to feel.
i called myself celebrating a minor victory regarding someone today. it's crazy to say i have gone a whole eight days without communication with someone that i thought i would talk to for the rest of my life. i keep telling myself that i won't miss them but i know that's a lie. there's always something there to bring my thoughts right back to them. but i do believe this is for the better. we'll see how it works out. in the meantime, i'm just going to continue to focus on my book and two other goals i have set for myself. i'll keep you posted.
...ppl r like uncontrolable magic tricks, they6 disappear and reappear as they like and hope the audience still likes the trick.
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