do i really need a title?

since i have been up for nearly an hour, i figured i would clear my head. i have been wondering why i am going thru this needy stage for the past month or so and i came to the conclusion that i am out of my mind. i wouldn't say "out" of it so much as not using it to its full potential. i haven't been feeling all that great as far as my kidney goes and everytime i get really sick, i start to turn into a thinking box. don't ask my why because when i am sick, i just lose all sense of creativity and don't feel like using my brain at all. so i'm sitting here wondering why i am up at these stupid hours every night when it hits me that a) the hour isn't stupid because somewhere, someone is doing something productive and 2) this is the time that i should be clearing my head. plus this is when i wake to find two extra bodies in my bed and what better time to make sure everyone is comfortable than an hour before i'm scheduled to wake up for the workit job. gives me time to stare at the ceiling and make plans.