what if?

during the past couple of days, i've asked myself that regarding so many situations.
what if i had gone thru with my wedding? w~ i stuck to my guidelines regarding men i date? w~ i never decided to date my best friend? w~ i walked away the first time? w~ i never taken it to that level with him? w~ i were still dealing with him? w~ i had taken that job offer? or even that one? w~ i still went off to school despite being told i need to stay "home"? w~ i kept modeling? what if? what if? what if? none of it matters because either way, i would still be at the point i am now. because my Mother falling ill would have definitely brought me back home. i got over the what ifs and got back to the real world. i needed to be humbled really early in life. i'm glad it happened because there's no telling what type of person i would be had i not. plus these experiences have made me the awesome person i am today. and i love the me that i am.