are we going thru this again?

i am not the nicest person in the world but i have recently made an attempt to uproot and plant a new tree (because it's gonna take more than me turning over a new leaf). this involved me being nicer to people making an attempt to join my "circle of trust" it was going well until i was actually challenged by this mission. i met someone and we started texting. two weeks into the texting-ship, he took off his mask and showed me his "Hyde" (pun intended). after not conversing for four days, he went completely out of the box and called me. what is wrong with him? doesn't he know i don't waste my unlimited minutes talking to people. and lucky for him, my phone was not doing that thing it does (sending everyone to voice mail when i accept a call). he gave the usual selective memory explanation. how is it you don't remember a full textersation that we had no more than a week prior? and you swear you don't erase any of your texts. so i ask if he let someone else (who he swears doesn't exist) have his phone and he says no. i ask if maybe he is single but some female considers him her boyfriend (you know how that goes) and of course his answer is "no" and proceed to tell me how you couldn't find your phone for the whole weekend. so how do i know it was even you who sent the texts to me and not some random chick who had your phone. you swear you don't remember the texts and they came from your phone. i don't have time for the nonsense so when you ask if we can go out and chill, i tell you "NO"
i don't understand (and damn sure not trying to figure out) why you insist on telling the untruth (not saying lies anymore. or at least trying not to) or your version of the truth. i'm not going to be mad at you if you have a woman because i'm not trying to put in an application for the position. even if i were, i would respect you more if you were honest with me. it just amazes me that men really believe a woman is dumb enough to fall for their bullshit.com and since i'm allergic to it, i can usually smell it a mile away.
i have come to the conclusion this new found "friendship" is coming to an end already. i'm not sad about this loss because it's definitely for the better. maybe it will help him see there are women out there who don't settle for just any guy who comes along (because i sure as hell don't). ok. i'm done griping. back to your regular scheduled program.

this is so not what i signed up for

i don't want to be your wife, your girlfriend, your sweetie, your anything. i just want to be your friend. we can hang out, grab a bite to eat, listen to music, or just chill. but i don't need you trying to put a label on it. we are just friends. i'm (S)tress (I)s (N)ow (G)one, (L)ife's (E)asier and loving it like whack arnold's. don't want or need you trying to make it more. i already have a husband lined up for my next lifetime so don't worry about putting in an application for that spot either. thank you and good night.

it's not halloween, why are you wearing a mask?

i'm not the type of person to let people in to my "circle" so easily, but recently i allowed myself to make a new friend. boy was i wrong for doing so. not even two weeks into the friendship, they start showing their true self. and i must admit, not a pretty picture. i guess since your first intention was to be more than a friend and i turned you down, you put up a facade in hopes that i would change my mind. uuuhh NO!!! for two weeks, we sent silly jokes to one another by text and now that you see i'm not giving in, you show your true colors. they're not bright at all. why can't people understand i'm single and i enjoy my status. i'm not trying to change it anytime soon. or later for that fact. i just want to enjoy my friends (who are the bee's knees) and go about my business. i don't want the extra added stress of worrying about someone else's moods and being careful of what i say because i don't want to hurt their feelings that day. screw that. i have enough moods of my own and can sometimes offend one of the voices in my head when i say the wrong thing. so what the fuck makes you think i want to be bothered with you and your issues as well? hold that thought, and take it somewhere else because i'm not going for it.
one good thing came about me dismissing this "new" character. i got in touch with my ex-husband from my next lifetime. and it of course started with a text. so maybe i'll see him this weekend. maybe i won't. we won't know until the time comes.

what you talkin bout willis?

last time i wrote, it was all about getting "private" calls from my least favorite mistake. just to prove how well i know him, i mentioned to my sister that in all those calls from that weekend, he wasn't going to pick up the phone on the 19th of the month to call and wish his son a Happy Birthday. boy, can i pick em. no call. no show. which explains why he was fired all those years ago. it amazes me (actually it doesn't. i just like the phrase) how people think their actions have no reactions. i'm not going to call them consequences because not everyone's actions are what you would consider bad. but in this case, your son doesn't know who you are and can barely pick you out of a crowd of two because of your actions. not to mention the fact he claims another man as his father. and that's all on his own. he's only six and already knows what you're about...absotively, posolutely NOTHING!!! i'm just glad my son's birthday went off without a hitch and i got one of the best night's sleep i've gotten in a while.
i just wanted to bring this up because you like to make it a point to tell people how you try so hard to be there and i won't let you.

i'm happy. why aren't you?

then again...i really don't fucking care. i don't understand why you just refuse to LIG (let it go for the "cool impaired"). you continually show up at my family's gatherings and stare me down like i'm going to gravitate to you if you stare at me long e-fucking-nuff.
this past friday (3 june 2011) was the birthday gathering for my sister and bro by law. i, of course, had to go to work and rush to get ready afterwards. things didn't go as planned (especially when i got the call from the brother-person that he was bringing his homie along) and i was ready to just say fuck it and not go. but i wasn't about to let this mutha fucka stop me from enjoying my four day weekend. i figured the bitch wouldn't say anything to me because i had every intention of hanging by boo thang's side for the night. unfortunately, his car was totalled earlier that day and he didn't come. bummer. so we get to the bar to find my baby sister and the other guest of honor were in route. i got upset again and was on the verge of not going in so i made a call (actually a text) to be rescued. the convo went like this:

"did you ride your baby to the workit job?"
"yup just got to the house what's up"
"this night fucking sux!!come rescue me!"
"where u at"

now that's what the fuck i'm talkin bout. gotta love a man who loves to cater to me. it didn't matter that he had no intention of coming to the party. the fact that he would drop anything for me means something (he's a keeper). so gold start for ED because you rock!! after him texting to say he's on his way, my friendgirl calls to say she's en route as well. debate. debate. debate. i'm gonna stay up here and just have him come in anyway. so he of course beats her and we sit in the parking lot waiting for my girl D to get there. while waiting, the brother-person pulls up with my mortal enemy in tow. i made an attempt at letting him know D was coming since he was under the impression she wasn't which meant i had to go around mr wrong. i got my opportunity to give him the heads up when the maggotsack walked towards the entrance to the bar. i had ED pull up to my brother's car and told him what was going on. he smiled and walked off. by this time, mr. wrong made his way back towards us and saw that it was me in the car. there it was. the look. you know the one that the think is going to bore a hole into your flesh. too bad it didn't work. so D pulls up and i do a quick wardrobe change and head into the club. ED decided to stay behind and just wait for me to come out. for the brief time i was in there dancing with my girls and my brother, i could feel his eyes on me like i was his dinner or something. not the case. dude. what the fuck? say hi. bark. do something. party winding down and i sneak off to say my goodbyes to a few of the guests. i make my way outside and get my purse out of my sister's car so that i can go. i'm headed back to the car after being called by someone (still don't know what chick called me) and mr wrong pulls me to the side. he proceeds to ask me why i didn't tell him about my oldest son graduating and then brings up the fact ED and i are in an Audi. like what the fuck does that have to do with the price of tea in china? or better yet, what does it have to do with YOUR SON? so then he gets to talking about how he should go get his A8 and shit all over "dude's car" for the record, if you had an A-anything, you wouldn't have hesitated to bring the mutha fucka out because that's how you are. you're a flashy type nigga and everybody knows that. so go somewhere with that nonsense. and then it was all about how he doesn't come see his son because i have a restraining order against him. uuuhhh NO!!! i've never needed the law to restrain your ass when i can do the shit my damn self. you have me confused with some other chick. so i told him this. then i asked why i am even talking to him when he acts like he doesn't know how to talk to people and going around bad mouthing me to anyone who will half way listen.
of course it was "i never say anything bad about you" and i just look at him because we all know that's a bold face lie. if you are lying on me or not telling the full story about what went down with us, then you are bad mouthing me. i proceed to walk off and he pulls his classic line "if you ever loved me, then you'll stand here and talk to me" i almost fucking choked for real. this coming from the man who claims we were never in a relationship but you ride around showing people the house we lived in together as a couple. are you fucking kidding me? i respond that i shouldn't waste my time talking to someone who tells people we were never together. so how do you come back from that? by again mentioning the car i'm about to ride off in. you still have yet to ask me how your son is doing.
i walked away as my brother was coming over to retrieve his friend and hopped in the car with ED so that i could finish my night on a good note. no such luck. this mutha fucka called me all weekend long private. he started at six that morning and would only call in the middle of the night. i eventually powered my phone down last night because he refused to stop calling even after i answered and asked him what he wanted. and that's unusual for me because i don't usually answer blocked calls.
but that was my madness for this weekend. i'm off for one more day and i plan to sleep well tonight, think i may even go for a ride on the bike since i like to go fast!!!