this is so not what i signed up for

i don't want to be your wife, your girlfriend, your sweetie, your anything. i just want to be your friend. we can hang out, grab a bite to eat, listen to music, or just chill. but i don't need you trying to put a label on it. we are just friends. i'm (S)tress (I)s (N)ow (G)one, (L)ife's (E)asier and loving it like whack arnold's. don't want or need you trying to make it more. i already have a husband lined up for my next lifetime so don't worry about putting in an application for that spot either. thank you and good night.