blah, blah, blah

i have a fetish for status shuffle on facebook. earlier i posted a status from the bunch and added a bit to the end. it read:

i want 2 see him so bad i want 2 look his in the eyes and say i ♥ u and hear him say it back and i want him 2 hold me with all of his love and never let me go...and then my phone will ring and an asshole will be on the other end.

the part that is bold was added by yours truly. i just like the way i was able to flip the whole thing around using a real life experience. i'm not looking for love. i'm not waiting for love. i am enjoying the single life but at times, some of my least favorite mistakes like to be ants at my picnic. it's like they have some sort of "happy detector" implanted in my head and they have to just shit all over my world whenever i'm just too comfortable in my happy mode. i don't get it. i want them to be happy. that's all i ever wanted for them. that was the reason i left them. it was quite apparent i wasn't making them happy so i left. what do i have to do, move out of state again? and i'm not talking just across the border. i'm talking the other direction where it's a planned trip and not just a phone call when you're down the street from my place asking if it's cool if you stop by. this past weekend's events had me online looking at openings for the company i was going to work for prior to my current employer. i would be taking another pay cut but the upside to that is the cost of living is nowhere near as high as it is here. my boys would get a better education since the schools are AWESOME!!! would be hard to leave my Father, though. i just feel like i'm running away from home anytime i put any more distance between us. if i tell him all the crap i've gone thru this summer, he would try to talk me into coming down there with him. there's so much to consider before i make that move, but for the record; there isn't much holding me here. really it's not.