picture it, a couple weeks ago in the florida room of the house. he and i are having a few drinks and mine start to go to my head. the conversation starts to lean towards why we can't make it official. i get to blabbering about how i need to get someone out of my system. he asks if it's an ex. how about NO!! it's one of my oldest friends (no pun intended) and i promised myself if i were ever single again, i would make it my business to have this man at least twice. (i have a thing about one night stand). so he looked me in my eyes and told me to go ahead and get the guy out of my system and if he and i are meant to be, i'll find my way back to him. that response seemed a little too diplomatic to me so i just let it go. well apparently he didn't.
cut to us out to dinner the next night and he tells me i put a knife through his heart when i told him that. says he wants 100% of me. i tried convincing him he has my undivided affection, but he's not going for that. i don't have feelings for this man. i just want to fuck him. well i wanted to until it got in the way of what i have going on now.
so now i'm dealing with his snide remarks about something i said under the influence of alcohol (i know drunkards speak the truth) and he says he's letting it go. it just hurts too much to know that i want another man. but my question is...WHY WOULD YOU GIVE ME THE HALL PASS TO DO IT IF YOU FELT THAT WAY???? he says that he doesn't want me thinking about being with him once we are together. the thing about it is...I DON'T. we may text every now and again and we rarely see one another. so i am at a crossroads because i have no clue what to do. somebody come rescue me.
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