rebel with a cause

i've purposely tried to stay single because i just don't want to deal with being a part of a couple. i've done that for more than half of my life and BIG is intent on changing my mind. i wish i could say i'm okay with him wanting to do this, but...i'm not! i am content with us hanging out every now and then. but it seems every now and then has turned into every day. whoa!! i thought we were just having fun and taking it "light" but i should have known he would want more based off our conversations. he's a great guy and all, but i have found myself looking for condos and baby shower gifts. it's like when did we take that step? so now to get myself out of this routine, i feel the urge to step outside of this box i've come to step inside. i do believe it's time i stop pussyfooting around and hang with Lyndon again. he always seems to know what i need to hear. he's an awesome friend and i just adore him.